Friday, August 29, 2014

Talking to Angel

An emotional letter to an angel.

Dear Angel,

I've done something really wrong, I messed up. I've hurt one of the closest friend I've had. I'm not sure whether it was Cupid to be blamed, but I'm pretty sure I was shot not just once... 


The first shot.
This friend loved me with all his heart but I drifted. Something just ticked inside of me.
The desire to have persevered and just held on to him always came back to me, but it just did not feel right anymore. Being half-present when I was with him was unfair to him. I decided to end it.
I really tried to make it work, but I didn't succeed in convincing myself I could continue.


The second shot was fatal. 
I was enduring with the pain, trying my best to suppress it. I convinced myself not to show the pain. 
I was doing so well that I believed the pain wasn't there, I went numb.
But that day when he asked me what was wrong, I explodedThe pain I felt was doubled or even quadrupled. I knew we wouldn't work out anymore. I decided to end it. 


I did not keep my promise to him, I never did.
I felt so so bad that I wished I could just disappear into thin air, not wanting to show my face or keep in contact with anyone related to him. It was guilt and my pain grew even more; crying in the shower,
the bus and to sleep. I'm sure he felt pain too, and I knew I've hurt him enough. 
This can never be salvaged.


So dear angel, please help me protect him and guide him to wherever he wishes to be and become. Make him an even better person in however ways. Guide him to his next and last ONE and bless him with happiness. 

Thank you,
#museestate

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